Thursday, January 24, 2008
Some mixed thoughts
I don't think anyone could begin to imagine the mixed thoughts that run though my mind in any given day. These days the thoughts are even more varied and confused. My mother in law is dying. Perhaps this one thing makes everything else seem so important. Like I've got to somehow figure out what's left of my short life...I've got to set goals and get a plan. Thomas has been going through a pretty difficult period in school. The homework has been overwhelming for him. He hasn't gotten it all done. He felt so defeated. I felt so afraid. Today he began a 3 time per week after school tutoring program. They will help him with his homework. They will explain the difficult German grammar (something I could never do). Again we both have hope. It's hard to see someone you love feel so defeated. There are other things also weighing on my mind. Sarah is simple. She loves to ride her bike to school. She loves school. She loves her family. She loves me. That is all there is to it. No big questions...no plans...no thought about the next 10 years. For Sarah life is simple and good. I'm so glad I have her. She brings me back to the moment...everything else is so complex!