what a night

It's almost 10pm and the kids are safe in bed. My heart is still racing. Sarah gave us a real scare. About 8 pm she was playing with the boys in the garden. They came in the house. 5 minutes later I hear Philip saying Sarah is gone (missing). We all look everywhere. I try to stay calm thinking she just fell asleep in a corner or something like that. We keep looking, but no Sarah. The kids get on their bikes and start looking around the neighborhood. They ask everyone if they have seen her. Many of our wonderful neighbors get really worried. Finally I call the police. I also called Juergen several times. He was at the movie Bat Man with a friend from work. I only got his answering machine. About 9pm I'm standing on the sidewalk in front of my house. I'm waiting for the police. I'm talking to a neighbor and trying to get a story from Philip and Thomas. Where was she last? My knees are about to give out. My hands feel like they are going to start shaking. I'm praying. I ask Nicole to check the house again. 10 minutes later she finds Sarah. Sarah was under the stairs sleeping. Oh thank God!!! Thank you God!!!

Adoption and being adopted

We often think adoption is just a wonderful thing...only wonderful! Our lucky, lucky kids!!! But when a child is adopted internationally they also lost their culture and birth country. You can try to give them a taste of that culture and a positive opinion of that country but it is not the same as "being" say Chinese. Chinese kids growing up in China have a different identity as Chinese kids growing up in America. But when you are from another country, you don’t always feel 100% comfortable in your adopted country or 100% comfortable in your birth country. It's not always easy to really feel like you totally belong anywhere. We personally have had problems trying to help Thomas, adopted at age 7 from Thailand feel at home in Germany. Perhaps we have only made it worse for him because I'm American. He actually has more of an American influence at home then a German influence. We took Thomas back to Thailand two years ago just to help him feel more proud of Thailand. He was the only internationally born child in his grade school class last year. This was a real problem for him. This fall he will be in a special grade school made up of only international kids. He is already talking more about Thailand. In Thailand we did this, and in Thailand we did that! He fully expects more acceptances this fall. I hope that acceptance comes. It is important for him to feel accepted for being who he is, a Thai, German, American adopted kid! He is a true citizen of the world. In fact Juergen is the only one in our family that was born in Germany, and he was raised in Holland. Here is a movie called being adopted. It is a look at the ups and downs of growing up adopted. As I said, it is not all wonderful. Adopted kids need to figure out who they really are. We can help them by realizing they need to do this!

Maybe this is your answer?

I read this on a web group about WACAP...


GOOD NEWS! We are encouraged by recent shifts in China's
requirements for families who hope to adopt children from the list of
available waiting children.

We can now request a pre-approval process for most of the children we
advocate for, even if your family's dossier process isn't
complete. These are children who have special medical needs or are
older.

1. If you don't see the child you hope for on our secure
website, we will search for the child for you on the full cross
referred list of available children.

So if you have just gotten started with your paperwork, you maybe able to ask for a PA for a waiting child, or even tell WACAP I want a child that is this age, with this kind of SN, a boy or a girl and they will look for a match for you and request a PA (pre aproval to adopt).
Here is the address to WACAP.

If you have begun your home study process, they can make a special request to submit pre-approval documents. Once you are pre-approved, China sets a limited time for you to complete the dossier (often as little as three months).

WACAP has very good grants that often cover all (100%) of the adoption fees. They do not work with non military Americans living in Germany (I have checked). If you want to adopt a special needs Chinese child and you have begun your home study, check with WACAP. They may be able to help you find your child, and even help you pay for most of your adoption.

paint

another great day with my family

making a blog book

I just found this link about making a hard bound book of your blog! I'm going to look into printing a book of Catching Butterflies one, waiting for Sarah and adopting Sarah. I always wanted my journal in print to save for Sarah. This is too cool!!!

summer fun

Schwetzingen

adoption language

Our kids are actually on vacation until the 2nd week of September, but some of your kids begin school this week. It's important to teach the teachers how to talk about adoption. Many people are not mean when it comes to adoption, they just don't know what is right. Here is a Q & A on adoption. I thought it might be something you could copy and give to your child's teacher as an example of correct adoption language.

Q: Where are Emily's real parents?
A: Emily's real parents are the parents who are raising her,
John and Kathy. She also has birthparents in China who gave
birth to her.
OPTIONAL EXPANSION: Emily has two sets of “real” parents. Her
birthparents are real, as she was born to them.Her American
parents are real, as they are raising her and she is their daughter.
Q: Where's Emily from?
A: She's from Connecticut. She was born in China, but she is
now a U.S. citizen.
Q: Why doesn't Emily look like her parents [mom] [dad]?
A: She was born in China and her parents adopted her when
she was a baby.Her parents are European American; she is
Chinese American.
Q: Does she speak Chinese?
A: No. Emily came to the U.S.when she was several months
old. She was not speaking any language at the time! Children
speak the language of the country they are raised in, just as
you speak English and not the language your grandparents
spoke before they immigrated to the U.S.
Q: Does she eat with chopsticks?
A: Chinese kids are not born knowing how to use chopsticks. In
the same way that American kids learn to use spoons, forks, and
knives, using chopsticks is learned by Chinese kids. Here in
America Emily has learned to eat with a fork, spoon, and knife,
and also with chopsticks.
Q: Will she be a Communist? Buddhist?
A: No. Belief systems are learned (whether by choice or not).
We are not born with them.
Q: Did it cost a lot to adopt her?
A: This is like asking how much your parents paid for the doctor
and hospital when you were born. In adoption,there are
other costs involved, like fees to the adoption agencies, professionals,
and attorneys to cover the legal and social work
involved in completing an adoption.
Q: Why didn’t her first family want her? Didn’t they love her?
A: They probably loved her very much, but knew that they
couldn’t take care of any baby at that time. They wanted Emily
to be raised by a family that would love her and could take care
of her forever. Adoptions always happen for grownup reasons,
and are never the result of anything a child does.
We want you, our child’s teacher, to know that we believe that
families are created through love, respect, and caring and not
solely through genetic connections. Thank you for helping us
communicate this to Emily’s classmates.

Learning to work

Juergen and I could give our kids almost everything. The thing we really want to give them is the self esteem that comes from learning how to work. I have a book that I put stickers in. Each sticker is worth money. They worked for their bikes. Now they are earning money for Lego. The new Star Wars Lego that comes out in September (so I have been told). Today Nicole ( who is earning money to go back to Mexico next year) cleaned the bathrooms and Thomas, Philip, and Sarah helped clean out the old car. The car goes back next week. We get a new car on Monday.

A new look

The boys both got super high new beds. We needed more room in their bedroom. Philip's desk goes under his bed and Thomas will have an electronic drum set under his bed (his birthday is September 5Th). Sarah just inherited the top part of the boys bunk bed. She is pretty excited! To make the bed more "hers" Nicole stuck zebra contact paper to Sarah's bed. We also put the zebra paper on Sarah's wardrobe. When she's older she'll get nicer matching furniture. For now she is very happy with her hand me downs. Jessica got Sarah's canopy bed. Sarah never appreciated that princess look. After all, a canopy bed is only beautiful, but now she sleeps up high! High is so much cooler then a dumb old princess bed!!! I need to get this kid a sister her own age!

New bikes

After months of work the boys have earned enough money to buy new bikes. It helped them to buy bikes at the end of summer because they were on sale (they saved more then 40 %). Juergen also bought our princess a new bike helmet. She picked out this lovely hot wheel helmet! I said "Juergen, she's a girl!!!" But she chases her brothers everywhere...and she wanted hot wheels! It's like I adopted 3 boys, at least for now. She is a fire cracker!!! I'm so glad we did not just give the boys new bikes. They are really learning to work for what they want, and there is a new level of pride that comes from the accomplishment.

Controversy Brews Over Lip-Synching

"A 7-year-old Chinese girl was not good-looking enough for the Olympics opening ceremony, so another little girl with a pixie smile lip-synched "Ode to the Motherland," a ceremony official said - the latest example of the lengths Beijing took for a perfect start to the Summer Games."

Personally I think the little girl who actually sang the song was pretty cute, but the Chinese have a very specific idea of what is beautiful. They are also very verbal about criticizing what they consider not perfect in each other (this is very cultural). This whole need to present a perfect face to the world does not surprise me. They are trying to do the very best job they can. We could say, "relax china" but that is not Chinese. I'm sure most people in China totally agree with this move to lip synch and see nothing wrong with it. The controversy is a western controversy. In the west we accept the broader idea of what is beautiful (at least this is what we tell ourselves as our daughters starve themselves to get model thin). Because the Chinese have this strict code of perfection in beauty, children born with birth defects like Cleft Palate for example have a very hard time finding acceptance in society. It's very important these kids find homes when they are available for adoption.

Just in case you noticed

I got rid of my posts about Germany and the Olympics. I was hasty in drawing conclusions. I was wrong. That happens (my being wrong). Germany was at the opening of the Olympics in China. I thought Germany was a little anti China. I had just come from the German tax office. I paid a very high tax on my Chinese made goods. I was sour and not seeing or understanding things straight. I put my half drawn information together, jumped to a wrong conclusion and now am a little embarrassed. I guess that is how prejudice works! How do you stop prejudice? You get your facts straight, and say sorry for your ignorance! I'm sorry I wrote what I wrote about Germany maybe being anti China. I was wrong! I would like to blame it on jet lag, but I just was not thinking straight and should have stayed away from my computer!!!

The Ryan Hall Story -

Ryan Hall will be in the Olympics running the Marathon. Sometimes adoption can seem like a Marathon. It takes a whole lot of endurance to finish the paperwork, wait and hope. It takes faith and work. I hope these videos inspire you (if you wait or where ever you are in life).

So beautiful when she sleeps

Sarah is so beautiful when she sleeps. This past week she has had a giant power struggle. First she had a problem sharing her Papa with Nicole and Jessica. Then the boys came home from camp. This girl wants to be the top dog in the family. Too bad she is the youngest and must share with 4 other deserving kids! We have had some struggles! It seems to get better with time. Juergen and I are very firm with our little princess. It's funny, but the other kids also let her get away with nothing. Poor baby!!! Will no one recognize her right to rule???

Steven Curtis Chapman talks about his loss and hope

Hope in pain Here.

It's an election year

We were sitting around the dinner table. Sarah was having a temper tantrum. She had to wait for Jessica to be served, and I guess she just did not want to wait. She left the table and cried on her bed. We were trying to figure out why Sarah was so moody. I said she just does not like change. She was emotional when I was gone, now I'm back and she is all emotional! Then Nicole says, "Well, if she does not like change she sure isn't for Obama"!!! Poor Sarah, but boy did we laugh!!!

Slowly back

We got back yesterday from our 2 weeks in America & Mexico. I will be slowly blogging about the trip on our family site. Sarah came with Papa to the airport in Frankfurt to pick us up. It felt so sweet to hold my little girl once again. Juergen is back at work again so I had to get up at 8:30 am (that is 11:30 pm California/Oregon time). I'm so tired, but I will get over the jet lag very fast! I have to get over the jet lag fast!!! I helped Sarah clean her room today. Nicole is puzzling with her. Juergen took all her "baby toys" out of her room. He also took the ropes down from the stairs (they were there to help Sarah hold on to the rail when she was smaller). Juergen said we will not be adopting anyone younger then Sarah. I said, anyone? Does that mean we can still consider adopting a child older then Sarah? I feel like he left that door wide open!!! I still think Sarah needs a sister to share her room!